Spring Mini- Blog Tour: 4 Q’s Answered

I know, I know, it’s been a while since we’ve posted in our blog. And you’re wondering what we’re up to. If you know Barton’s smile, you know it involved mischief!

First, Barton and I are excited to be revamping our website. It’s a project that’s been on the docket for some time now. Stay tuned, as we’ll share our new platform with you shortly, with all kinds of exciting new tidbits!

Today, I’m excited to be a part of a writer’s spring mini-blog tour. Why participate in a blog tour? It’s a fun way to share our work, get to know new writers, and learn how other writers uncover their creative spark.

Thank you to Anne Wainscot- Sargent, writer of The Writing Well, who graciously invited me to be a part of this event! She, too, talks about the powerful act of storytelling.

Cracking Open the Shell:

What am I Working On?

Anna von debardeleben

Inspiration for Leaving Traces: DIving From the Nest, my Mom Anna.

It’s fun to talk about how Barton and I met, our story and our crazy adventures together. But my transformation began much earlier than that. It began with the devastation of loss, hushed words in the corner of rooms or words not said at all. It began with everything that I knew falling apart, and piecing my soul back together.

I am finishing my memoir Leaving Traces: Diving from the Nest. This project began a long time ago (11 years). In 2001, my mother passed away, and I spent the first year or two not being able to write anything at all. Then, I found myself writing every single story and memory. It was like, if I didn’t write it down, I would forget. The manuscript went through one more revision, as I was processing what stories were meant just for me, and what others I could share.

And then, the manuscript went in my closet. And it sat, collecting dust. During an interview about mother loss, I realized that there was an entire section missing, and yet, I was afraid to write it.

In wasn’t until the memoir with my husband Ink in the Wheels: Stories to Make Love Roll was published, that Barton began nudging me to pull Leaving Traces back out. It’s a vulnerable story, a piece of my life I rarely speak about, and here I am, on the verge of bravery as it is in its final stages.

In the air of the production of my memoir, I began a Kickstarter Campaign to fund the design-work. Whether Kickstarter is successful or not, my expected release date is May, 2015.

How Does My Work Differ From Others of Its Genre?

Each memoir is its precious jewel with meaning to the author and to the reader. We pick up what we need from each story and weave them into our own. We offer the same tiny slice of life that makes us think, catches our attention and shakes us from our own perspectives.

In my writing, I offer an intimate and honest reflection as I process experiences and events in my life. We all know about the grieving process. But we hardly think about having epiphanies during this process of loss. In my work, not only do I take the reader through heartache and devastation, but I also honor those epiphanies, those moments that are precious, where experience and learning could not have happened any other way.

In this piece, I share my experience of mother loss, discovering epiphanies and insights throughout this intimate process of grief. It’s one of the most vulnerable pieces I have worked on, because most people do not know this place in my life, as I hardly talk about it out loud. And I share aspects of loss that most people dare not speak about, openly anyway.

Why Do I Write What I Do?

I have been writing since I was a little girl, under the covers with a flashlight after lights out. I always got in trouble writing in my journal when I was little. I was born a writer, and whether it is for work or play, the words just flow out.

I also tell stories, and I believe that storytelling taps into a traditional aspect of how we learn, how we remember and honor the past, how we dream about the future.

And, I write as a connection to others, to lend a line out and let others know they are not alone on their journey. It is a part of the way I connect in the world, and my service is helping others discover their own voices.

How does my Writing Process Work?

There’s something about candles, just before dawn that allows the words to flow from my fingers. Yes, I am an early riser, before the day gets started. And I will write for an hour or so, sometimes a page, sometimes just a few paragraphs.

After our morning routine, depending on the day, I will get started on other aspects of my work, writing website and newsletter copy, or writing social media posts. This taps into a different aspect of my creativity. The day becomes varied. Sometimes I need the quiet solitude of my home office, and other days I need the bustling noise of a coffee shop.

But the early morning hours, those are reserved for my personal projects, where fingers move without thinking and words drip across the page.

Where will the Blog Tour go:

Okay, okay, I did ask my fabulous husband to participate. Why? While we both have projects we work on together, we also have individual projects, which are unique to who we are and cater to our individual talents.

Barton HeadshotA leadership coach and writer, Barton Cutter combines his experience of living with cerebral palsy, uncompromising wit, and professional background in leadership development to empower people with and without disabilities to discover a vision of independence and collaborative leadership through building engaging relationships.

And, next week, you may also hear from a colleague and poet Alice Osborn. Alice and I met at a coffee shop just after Barton and I moved here to Raleigh, and she encouraged me to connect with the writing community here.

Alice Osborn ProfileAlice Osborn, M.A. is the author of three books of poetry, After the Steaming Stops (Main Street Rag, 2012), Unfinished Projects (Main Street Rag, 2010) and Right Lane Ends (Catawba, 2006); she is also a freelance writer and teaching artist. Check out Alice Osborn here: http://aliceosborn.com/.

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A Trip of a Lifetime: Speaking at the MV-1 Launch Event

March certainly was a whirlwind of an adventure!

Barton and Megan Cutter at AM General's MV-1 manufacturing plant.

Barton and Megan Cutter at AM General’s MV-1 manufacturing plant.

We started the month out with a trip of a lifetime, as we were invited to attend the 2014 launch of the MV-1 at Mobility Ventures in South Bend, IN.

Right away, traveling was completely different since Barton was traveling in his power chair. This was the first time we travelled without Megan having to push Barton and carry luggage bags. Instead, Barton carried bags that hung on the back of his chair and zoomed up to the gate.

Now, while we were waiting to take off, we could feel luggage being shifted underneath, so much so that the whole plane was shaking, and wondered if Barton’s power chair would make it in one piece. We looked at each other and made some interesting possibilities for media taglines: “motor wheelchair falls out of plane and crashes through house.” Indeed, when we arrived in Indiana, we found that his chair had been broken by rough handling, and we waited to fill out claim forms for repair.

That evening, we had the delight of meeting Mobility Venture’s staff and getting to know the MV-1 support team and advocates. The diversity of conversations led to some very fun connections, those that we would see in Atlanta later in the week, and not least of which is a potential skydiving opportunity for Barton. The look on Megan’s face when this conversation opened up was priceless!

Our host for the weekend, who drove us from place to place was wonderful. In fact, he and Barton were two mischievous peas in a pod. Early Tuesday morning, we headed over to AM General’s plant, where the MV-1 is manufactured. And, we met Barton’s father, who joined us, driving down from Chicago!

During the launch ceremony, we were given the impromptu opportunity to speak to city officials, AM General and Mobility Ventures executive staff, and plant staff members who were on site. We joined major advocates from the New York hearings for NY Taxis, who talked about how the MV-1 will benefit access for people in wheelchairs to get around major metropolitan cities more freely.

Barton speaks at the MV-1 launch event.

Barton speaks at the MV-1 launch event.

Barton was able to convey his words of inspiration and motivation, “What excites me the most is that the MV-1 is built from the ground up, with the very philosophy and values of inclusion and perseverance that I live by.”

Megan had heard the phrase “enhance people with disabilities,” several times during other speeches.

Megan Cutter speaks at the MV-1 Release Event.

Megan speaks at the MV-1 Release Event.

On the spur of the moment, she decided to break down what that actually meant, “Having accessible transportation means that I can walk beside my husband instead of being behind him pushing him in a manual wheelchair. It means that we can travel, speaking and inspiring other people with disabilities. And it means we can go somewhere as simple as a coffee shop.”

Indeed, everyone that heard her speak felt her meaning and was moved by her words.

We stood next to each other and realized how powerful it was to give others meaning to the work that they do. It’s one thing to think you are making a difference in someone’s life, but it’s another to hear someone speak about what you are doing, and how it impacts them.

Robots take video-measurements for quality control measures on a new MV-1.

Robots take over 1,000 video-measurements for quality control measures on a new MV-1.

After the presentation, we were able to tour the plant, watching MV-1 vehicles being prepared and ready for their new owners. We watched in awe at the team of workers, robotic arms, and conveyor belts moved new MV-1’s through the building process.

Robotic arms welding a new MV-1.

Robotic arms welding a new MV-1

Perhaps the most impressive part of the tour for us was to see how meticulously each MV-1 has been tested to meet the precise standards that ensure its durability and integrity on the road.

Being behind the wheel, the sense of everything we were feeling in the car in terms of durability and being able to go the distance lens itself to our excitement of embracing the open road.

AM General's MV-1 plant is impressive because of the multi-layered use of space.

AM General’s MV-1 plant is impressive because of the multi-layered use of space.

And indeed, being able to witness the level of dedication with which these MV-1’s are built and confirmed that this is the best vehicle for us. And how did we celebrate?

The morning after we returned Indiana, we piled in our MV-1, now loaded down with books, and we headed off to The Abilities Expo in Atlanta.

Five events later, and over 1,500 miles added in just this month alone, our MV-1 is proving that it is not only opening doors for the two of us, but allowing us to turn heads and help others shine their best.

New MV-1 at the AM General manufacturing plant.

New MV-1 at AM General’s manufacturing plant.

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Tips for Those in the 2014 NMEDA Local Heroes Contest

Megan Cutter donates car to Wheels 4 Hope.

This was Megan’s first car, now going to Wheels 4 Hope.

This morning, our non-accessible Honda Civic was towed and donated to Wheels 4 Hope.

It’s been exactly one year since I came home with the dread, knowing that if we didn’t find another method of transportation asap, we would be in big trouble. The timing was the worst, as the weekend before, we had just released our memoir, Ink in the Wheels: Stories to Make Love Roll.

And indeed, Barton had been walking the streets for many years, more than most of us. He’d plan out his trip on the bus to arrive one or two hours prior to a meeting just to make sure there’s a bus where the lift works. And he has been stuck out on the road before, at the mercy of drivers and dispatchers. Megan had begun to get used to the heart attack near misses Barton would joke about when he arrived home. We included many of them in our memoir. For Barton, it was just a part of his day. For Megan as long as he got home in one piece, she was okay. But exactly one year ago, we faced no transportation at all.

This year, we are Paying It Forward to Step Up Ministry, a ministry that mentors the under-served in our community. Recently, a staff member talked about what happens when a family does not have transportation. Try it, for one week, to go completely without using your car.

Transportation is one of the biggest challenges for families impacted by disability because modified equipment is so, so expensive. Last year, we were there. So we got to work right away.

When we applied for the NMEDA Local Hero’s contest, we were unaware of how many emotions we would feel during the course of the year.

We wanted to pass along our tips to those who are entering this year- for support and encouragement!!

Tips for the NMEDA Voting Contest

We wanted to show my we need an accessible van: When we travel, we typically have bags, tools for workshops, BOOKS!, wheelchair (or more than one), ramps, and sometimes Bear rides in Barton's lap!

We wanted to show why we need an accessible van: When we travel, we typically have bags, tools for workshops, BOOKS!, wheelchair (or more than one), ramps, and sometimes Bear rides in Barton’s lap!

1. Find an organized system.

First thing in the morning, we would send a daily email with a funny story or photo and the answer to the question for the extra point (to those who gave their permission of course). We would remind voters they could not vote on the same server (it became an issue if there was an office or school that used one server). And if issues came up with voting- several times the system would not work or got overloaded- we would remind voters to be patient and continually thank them for their support.

After sending out an email, we posted on social media, and then we would vote ourselves.

Who do you get to vote? Family, work, friends, alumnae associations, groups, church groups, neighbors, schools. What if you don’t have a big network to start? Create one! If only one person sent it out to their contacts, you’d be surprised how much momentum you can create.

Barton Cutter needs a new accessible van

This photograph went viral among our family and friends.

2. Pictures, pictures, pictures! People loved the picture of Barton trying to get in the trunk of the Honda. It was funny, but it also sent a visual representation of why an accessible van was so important to us. People got the message!

3. Enlist help! It can be very stressful trying to push for votes. We certainly weren’t prepared for the ups and downs over the course of the contest. Yet, we were not alone! We had one friend who loved sending us graphics she had tweaked that we could use. Family members sent out our emails. Many of our friends posted on social media on our behalves, without us even knowing or asking. And Barton’s best buddy would tally the top contenders to find out where we were in the standings. People are more likely to get behind you if they know where you are!

Barton and Megan Cutter dream of an accessible van.

We let our personalities shine through!

4. Messaging. At one point during the contest, we felt a downward spiral in how people were spreading the word, that if you had the worst pity-party story about how you couldn’t get to work or out the door of your house, you were worthy of a van. On the contrary! Every single entrant deserves a van!! In fact, if we hadn’t needed a van so bad, we would have voted for others we felt deserved a vehicle more than us (a man who had served during 9/11 was particularly moving)! Transportation is an issue for all of us, otherwise why would we be entering? And– all of the winners worked for the betterment not only of themselves, but of their community!

Crazy Wheelchair Photos

The crazy stunts we did to keep going: Barton and Megan laugh and live, even in the midst of challenge.

While we were honest about the challenges we faced personally, we were also determined to have an upbeat message, if we won a van or not. And we wanted to inspire others along the way, that no matter who you are or what your ability, you can overcome challenges you face.

5. Barton made it to the semi-finalist rounds!! Then what? It’s out of your hands, sort of. From what we understood by the rules, judges were not influenced by any outside sources or media. They only looked at entry stories. But–we didn’t give up, with friends and family writing messages on the NMEDA FB page. I even wrote a Open Letter to the NMEDA, and to be honest I’ll never know if it was seen by anyone but our own friends. But it didn’t matter. If we weren’t going to win, we wanted to get our message out there, to reach other families of all abilities.

6. Waiting & Communications- Some contestants were disappointed they didn’t receive any communication from the NMEDA at all when/after winners were notified. We were, too. We were all left in the dark, wondering, asking, waiting. While we can’t speak for the NMEDA, what we can say is that waiting is the hardest part. Many days while we were waiting Megan felt like she had OCD (attachment to the outcome); she couldn’t think of anything else. Often we wondered if they tried calling us and we just missed them. While we wish we had received official word one way or another, or some sort of regret letter, we clung to each other (the two of us as well as other semi-finalists). During this time, give yourself and your family some loving tender care and start letting go.

Barton and Megan Cutter for Habitat for Humanity

Barton and Megan Cutter washing dust off the walls at a Habitat for Humanity House!

7. What happens if you don’t win? We didn’t. We celebrated those who did win because they were making huge strides in their personal lives and communities. But, we were also heartbroken. It takes a while to let the disappointment go, especially after such dedication and commitment for such a long voting contest. Megan, in particular, had given up so much during the year to put her full attention towards the contest. And we had to move through those emotions of disappointment and the fear of- now what? Give yourself a breather after the contest, and let yourself decompress. We also communicated with a few other contestants, creating a sense of camaraderie and community.

8. Don’t give up! Start a Go Fund Me Campaign, community fundraiser, church fundraiser. Follow up with media if you had contacted media during the contest. Write an article or blog. It was really important for us to Pay It Forward along the way, so we chose a unique fundraiser. Do something that includes your own personality and style!

Related article: An Inter-Ability Couple Raises Funds for a Van in a Unique Way

Barton Cutter in an MV-1 accessible van.

Barton’s first day in his MV-1!

Through a crazy turn of events, we were able to purchase an accessible vehicle, an MV-1!!!!!

We could have never imagined how it would happen- it certainly wasn’t how we thought it would be. It took perseverance, dedication, and a lot of divine intervention.

Read our full story of purchasing an MV-1 here!

No matter what, just keep going, and going, and going!!!!!

There you go.

We wish all of the contestants in the NMEDA Local Hero’s Contest luck, love and perseverance!!

~Megan and Barton Cutter

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Around Town: The Interplay of Space and Mobility

MountBarton

Sunday afternoon, we returned from an impromptu lunch with friends and I found myself reflecting on the unexpectedly subtle ways our new found mobility and having access to my power chair while we’re out and about has shifted not only how people perceive us as a couple, but the ways in which it’s shifted how we function as a couple.

Of course, there are some obvious ways in which having our MV-1 has impacted the ease with which we journey into our community when we’re not on foot. Being in my power chair and having the ability to get in and out of the car on my own has certainly gone far in saving Megan’s back.

And there is a pronounced difference when the two of us show up to lead a seminar on independence and personal empowerment and I’m not having to rely on Megan to push me around. We’ve done it before, but yea, it kind of defeats the purpose if we’re not modeling the same principles that we’re teaching.

Certainly, those differences were ones we were fully expecting and delighted to embrace. And yet, we have also become aware over the past month of a much more subtle and profound shift in a personal dynamic.

From the start, things were different as we prepared to go out. There weren’t a hundred wheelchair pieces for Megan to put together getting in or out of the vehicle, or any other time for that matter. And I could carry our computer bags. Thus it was far easier for her to relax and enjoy herself.

Barton and Megan Cutter out and about.

Barton and Megan out and about.

When I’m moving at my best, I look for space and move into it, almost unconsciously. At the same time, if I’m in a position where there is no space, such a crowd of people or if I’m in a situation where I need to get somewhere, such as an exit, and there are no open avenues, I have no issue opening one, either by asking people to move or by more overt means. And then there are the times when creating space takes on the meaning of protecting Megan and others. 

For years, Megan has protested about being put inadvertently in the driving seat in certain situations. In particular, I’ve seen this feeling come up while pushing me in the manual chair, in crowded environments where others tend to be less aware of what’s going on around them.

Indeed, I have joked that my sweet Sothern Belle just hates to trouble anyone to move out of our little ol’ ways. She feels like we are in the way and tries as best she can to find a pocket of space.  At the same time, there have been moments where a certain tipping point is reached and my sweet Sothern Belle unleashes a lion and God forbid you stand in her way!

While I occasionally let my own lion roar, I typically do not feel the same level of anxiety, when in crowds, around having or finding space, so when we arrived at a crowded restaurant Sunday morning, I naturally took a lead that had been previously unavailable.

Upon entry, Megan and I scanned the room. I saw an open space and made a B-line. At that point it didn’t matter if Megan chose to come with me or stay in line to order, I had found a comfortable space for us to settle, and it automatically freed her to enjoy the moment.

As more space opened up around us, it was easier for us to take advantage of it because I could move into it first, without any effort on Megan’s part, and then she could follow in her own time.

While still very cohesive, our movement and interaction became far more fluid and adaptable to change, without losing any feeling of relaxation.

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One Foot (or Wheel) on the Road: The Run For Young 5K Race

MegaWave

Barton and Megan Cutter in The Run for Young

Barton and Megan Cutter with their dog Bear just before The Run for Young Race in downtown Raleigh.

Last Sunday, Barton and I are participated in The Run for Young, hosted by Christ Church of Raleigh. The run is in honor of Sadiki Young, a young man who was killed in a car wreck, where the driver had been drinking, and the fundraiser is a reminder to for young people to make healthier driving choices.

Have you ever seen the first scene in The Intouchables? In the first scene, the caretaker is speeding down the road, leading police on a chase, and when they catch up with them, Philippe, a quadriplegic, fakes a seizure for a bet with his caretaker. Now while we haven’t led police on a chase or faked a medical emergency, Barton, he hem, he hem (may have gotten us out of one or more speeding tickets).

And just like in the scene where the caretaker Driss feeds Philippe and gets distracted so that the bite of food lands in his eye instead of his mouth, admittedly, I have fed Barton driving in the Honda Civic and almost sent more than one French Fry up his nose. (And you think I’m kidding).

As we delight in driving our accessible MV-1 I have thought about the time I have spent in my little Honda Civic, with over 255,000 miles. There were times of singing at the top of my lungs driving down the highway way too fast, squeezing my car into places where it should not be, and lost in the day, not paying attention to how I got from point A to point B.

The times when I was emotional and should not be driving like the first Christmas after a broken engagement and my mom’s death, when I drove around Tuscaloosa, AL for hours and hours because I did not want to go home, sobbing as I sped down the road.

The time in Tuscaloosa when I was rushing home from work because I only had a half an hour, lost control of my car, and spun out in the middle of a highway, and was oh, so thankful not to have been hit by the 18-wheeler behind me.

Even when I think about Barton wheeling down the road in his wheelchair, too many close calls that I don’t want to know about, being on the road carries a risk. For him, walking to meetings or to get around provides an independence that outweighs that risk. For me, it’s while we’re driving in the car.

As we prepared for the arrival of our MV-1, not only were we getting the necessary paperwork together, we began to think about supplies we would need in an emergency. It comes from one too many times driving in horrendous weather, unexpected delays, and surviving tornados and hurricanes alike. Call us a little crazy, but it was fun gathering supplies, making lists, and talking through different situations.

But what about after the newness wears off? How easy is it to slip back into bad driving habits.

We all have them.

It is so easy to get complacent on the road, how to forget that while our cars and SUV’s are metal boxes used to get us from place A to place B, they can also so easily be turned into unintended wrecks, tragic loss and deadly weapons. Many times we are too wrapped up in our lives to remember this.

We were lucky that the sun came out for the Run for Young during this cold winter weather system. I was so excited because I had always wanted to run a 5 or 10 K race with Barton, but we could never figure out how to get his wheelchair to the start location, especially on the weekends when the buses run less frequently.

As we ran the race, Barton zipped in front of me with Bear on lead, keeping my pace up. They were an inspiration to keep running, keep going even when I felt out of breath.

Ironically, after the halfway mark of the race, I jumped on the back of Barton’s wheelchair taking a break from running, and was reminded from at least three police officers blocking off roads for the race, that yes, I was in fact cheating.

Barton and Megan Cutter finish the race- picture by Jill Knight.

Barton and Megan Cutter finish the race- picture by Jill Knight.

Karma is rough, though. Barton wanted to zip me all the way to the end, so I stayed on, holding tightly as he made curves and hoofed us up a hill. Just before the finish line, though, we tripped a circuit breaker on Barton’s wheelchair and ended the race pushing his motor wheels through the finish line.

Whether we are driving, running or wheeling down the road, we take risks everyday.

And I will be a reminded of how precious and thankful life on the road is.

The spring and summer are filled with 5K races supporting all kinds of causes and fundraisers. It’s a great way to support the community, boost your health and have some fun.

And don’t get us wrong, we’ve already had our Thelma and Louise moment of just taking off down the highway without a care in the world. With new wheels for independence, it’s a freedom that we are just now fully experiencing.

When the weather thaws and snow melts this spring, where will you be getting on the road?

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